Hearts a Mess
by jedimasterroyal
Summary: One-shot. Very AU. Vader is losing his mind. One minute she is his enemy, the next they are both in love. It is something out of a space pirate's tale, or rather something induced by drugs and fantasy. Either way, this love is not meant to survive.


_Hearts a Mess_

_I could have elaborated more from this plot bunny but I just don't have time. Take it for what it is. VERY AU. Vader uses suit for evil not because he needs it. Enjoy_

_-jedimasterroyal_

* * *

Darth Vader woke up from his slumber with the most peculiar feeling.

During the night he had a dream….no, a vision. Or perhaps a dream? Except he, for the life of him could not recall. There were only glimpses.

Brown eyes…

Satin skin…

Tender lips…

Smiles shared…

An angel's laugh…

But the dots did not seem to connect. He shook his head, if only to clear the disturbing images from his mind. There was no room for such thoughts in a Dark Lord's head.

He started his morning, as always, with a rigorous exercise routine. His life had been a series of disappointments. First being born a slave, then the Jedi rejected him, and even now he was at a power play with his Master. There was simply nothing Vader could do about it. He would be a slave to one thing or another. He had it all, the money, the power, the influence, and yet had nothing at all.

After his exercise, he changed into his suit and mask. The Empire awaited its executioner.

_Pick apart  
The pieces of your heart  
And let me peer inside  
Let me in  
Where only your thoughts have been  
Let me occupy your mind  
As you do mine_

"My Lord, it is most pleasant to have you back in Imperial Center."

"Please cut the pleasantries Tarkin. We both know exactly what you think of my return. What is the report?" Vader's voice boomed among the stark corridor of the Prisoners holding area facility. Grand Moff Tarkin, and his foul stench, was only part of Vader's council because his Master insisted. Of course, Vader knew that really Tarkin was just another way Sidious could keep tabs on him.

"Well, everything is going as you planned-" Tarkin hesitated.

"Except…"

"Except, the prisoner in cell block AA-24.."

"-I told you to speak without plea-"

Tarkin paused his stride and stopped to turn and face Vader, "The senator, my lord."

"Is she finally speaking?"

"No. Her torture was executed as you planned but some complications arose," Tarkin responded.

Vader was getting quite annoyed. He hated men who beat around the bush. "What happened?" he spoke sternly.

"She contracted Bothan Flu. It seems that the IT-O interrogator droid's needle had not been sterilized and she contracted it from there. Immediately we had to quarantine her away from this floor. She is now in a medical cell underneath this very level."

Beneath his mask, Vader rolled his eyes. He knew Tarkin. He was not one to make mistakes. Causing the Senator pain was certainly no problem, except for the fact that she was under Vader's care, and nobody meddled with his things.

"As much as you are quite content with having the Senator in a most painful circumstance, you are in very much need of consequence. We are the Empire, I and the Emperor decide the fate of the prisoners. The Senator is of vital importance in advancing the destruction of the Rebel Alliance and pockets of Jedi that are scattered. From now on, I want a full report of every IT-O droid and if I must test them on you, then so be it, Tarkin. Lead me to her, now."

Their walk was relatively silent. Vader pondered over this Senator. Padme Amidala, former Senator of Naboo, leader of the Rebel Alliance, and friends with the Jedi. If Vader and the Emperor were the ultimate harbinger of Evil, then she was the ultimate opposite. He thought of how hard it had been to capture her. She had been in the Senate when he discovered she was the leader of the Rebel Alliance among saved holorecordings on an abandoned base in Dantooine. When he was back in Imperial Center, he burst through her apartment and found her long gone.

Five years. Five years he traveled around the galaxy. He had bounty hunters posted in every corner. He had spies even in unknown space. He would not let some Senator humiliate him like that. When he finally found her she was in Hoth, hidden in a Wampa's former lair. Her security huddled around her but it was of no use. He wiped them out like the rebel scum they were and not just swiftly. He took care of them rather slowly in front of her, until she begged to just take her prisoner. Vader would say it was his most achieving moment.

When she was brought back he had her humiliated publicly through all of the Empire. Once she was locked up, Vader was tasked with extracting information from her. He had thought he had finished breaking her but alas that was not so. Day and night he tried to wrack her mind with the Force to get the information but her walls were more shut than Master Yoda. This only incinerated him more because it only confirmed her involvement with the Jedi. Nobody else could have taught her such skills. Every time he felt he was close to getting her, she would shout some planet name and he would jump with the 501st only to be duped. He arrived yesterday night from another wild bantha chase the rebel leader had sent him on, to an angry Master and a bout of Force Lightning.

And now this, it would be most interesting.

When they arrived he peered into the glass of her medical room. She laid there tangled among the wires attached to her body.

Tarkin interrupted. "She has not hit the peak of the virus. It usually lasts for a month in human sentients. We have her heavily sedated with the most powerful drugs. She is very delirious and has been hallucinating. Mostly she mumbles about her family."

Oh, how the mighty had fallen. Underneath his mask Vader smirked. Finally he would have his chance. With Padme Amidala deliriously ill, her walls would most likely fall; that is, if she does not simply just end up mumbling her secrets to him. Perhaps, Tarkin was not so stupid, he had basically just handed him his victory on a silver platter.

He stood there contemplating this achievement when suddenly within the medical cell the former Senator stirred.

Her bed was already elevated when her eyes opened. Her head moved slightly left and right. Then her eyes settled directly to his.

Time stopped and Vader felt the air being sucked out of his body. Her eyes, though squinted, aimed directly at him but what was most surprising were that they were a deep chocolate brown. How had he not noticed that before?

"Can she see me?" he turned to Tarkin.

"Of course not, Lord Vader."

He felt a presence nudge him. It was familiar, soothing, and (dare he say it) loving. Her right hand lifted by mere centimeters, slowly. Her fingers stretched toward him.

What exactly was going on? He planned to find out.

"I want her heavily sedated again and I want her brought to my personal level. I also want you to prepare a medical droid for her and it too be brought to my level." As Vader walked away he wondered if what he was about to do would end in pain, but then again all he had ever known was pain.

_You have lost  
Too much love  
To fear, doubt and distrust  
(It's not enough)  
You just threw away the key  
To your heart_

"Week 1: Flu at 20%" read the medical droid and he sent it off.

Ever since Amidala had been sent to his apartment he could not stop pacing. It tensed him to have his greatest enemy so near. Yet now things felt different, welcoming.

He decided he would test the waters and enter without his costume. If she was delusional, as Tarkin claimed, she would be more perceptible to open up to a kind stranger as opposed to Darth Vader.

But that wasn't the only reason why he wanted her so nearby. Deep down Vader was suddenly mesmerized. Those brown eyes only reminded him of those glimpses of the dream he had before. It all made very little sense, but Vader had never felt such a connection before. It was enthralling, like falling thru the sky, a deep ecstasis that was better than sex.

So he entered…

She was awake. Her hair was tangled, her eyes were bleary, she looked frail, weak….beautiful. He had always thought her beautiful but it had never had much of an affect by him. Now that he could see her with his eyes and have nothing between them him and her, she left him breathless.

"Hello," he murmured.

Vader could see that her eyes looked around in confusion until they settled on his. A spark ignited in her chocolate orbs and it was as if she had known him inside and out.

"Do…I…know you?" she whispered weakly.

"I believe so."

She nodded. "Yes…yes because….I have feel like I have….missed you…terribly so." She started gasping and tears formed.

Before Vader would not have cared if he caused her pain but this time he felt his heart twinge at the sight of her tears.

He hurried to her side. "No, no, no don't cry. I'm here now."

Vader spent the afternoon holding her. Never had he felt such peace. He heart beat against his and he relished it like no other. It was only right before the drugs took her mind again that she spoke once more.

"You…..you're my…..you're my husband….aren't you? A…Ana-kin?"

He left, if only to keep his sanity intact.

_You don't get burned  
('Cause nothing gets through)  
It makes it easier  
(Easier on you)  
But that much more difficult for me  
To make you see…_

"Week 2: Flu at 50%"

Vader could not understand what or how it had happened but he was mad. Madly in love. Madly dizzy. Crazy. He spent day and night tending to her and in return she would speak softly of all the things they had done. They were incoherent in this world. Perhaps she knew more of their love once upon a dream, or maybe they had been lovers in another life.

This morning, he entered to find her in utter desperation, shivering.

"uhhhh…so c-c-cold.."

He placed five blankets over her. Vader himself was immune to Bothan Flu. If you had it once in your lifetime you never got it again, and he had got it before when he was still a boy in Tatooine.

"T-t-t-tell him….t-t-t-tell him to…kill me."

"Tell who?" he whispered to her ear.

"Vader."

The room started spinning for him. How could she ask him for such a proposal and think that he could now commit it?

"I….can't."

"Uhhhhh, too much pain…tell…him…to kill me."

Vader spoke softly into her ear, "I don't know what you are talking about."

She never responded and succumbed.

_Your heart's a mess  
You won't admit to it  
It makes no sense  
But I'm desperate to connect  
And you, you can't live like this_

"Week 3: Flu at 40%"

He had foregone sleep completely. His hair was at a disarray from having pulled at it so much. Just yesterday she had whispered "I love you" right before he injected the sedative to her system. His heart had soared with joy and utter confusion. How could she possibly love him so much? Vader (or was it Anakin now?) had never even kissed her and yet he felt like he'd made love to her.

"Rise, my apprentice," Sidious interrupted his thoughts.

He closed the walls of his mind tightly shut. Not only to protect his newfound love but because deep down Vader did not want to face the reality of the situation.

"Tarkin tells me that Amidala is delirious with Bothan Flu," the Emperor turned to face him, "and that you…have her."

"Yes. That is true." He could not reveal to his Master the truth of what him and Padme shared. "I figured that if she is delirious she would be more weaker and hence I could extract vital information of the remaining Rebel Alliance leaders and Jedi."

Sidious nodded slowly and sat down in his throne. "Have you been able to retrieve such information?"

"No. She speaks incoherently."

The Emperor once again nodded and swiveled his throne towards the vast window behind him.

"Kill her."

"What?" Vader raised his voice. "But…but I asked to kill her long ago and you said that killing her would be a mistake." In all reality Vader was trying to dissuade his Master. "You said that the Rebel Alliance would only strengthen in honor of her death. I'm so close to getting that information. She is weak, she no longer fights back-"

"You are weak! You think this is a change of heart….tsk tsk my apprentice, the Bothan Flu is almost at its end and when it ends you will still have a stubborn rebel scum on your hands. She will never reveal her secret and so she can die with them. The Rebel Alliance has lost all hope for her return. She was meant to die and the time is now. Do you have an issue with my instructions, Lord Vader?"

"No, Master."

"Good, good. When the Flu is over, and she is no longer sedated we will kill her publicly. I want to see her suffer."

_Love ain't fair_  
_So there you are_  
_My love_

"Week 4: Flu at 20%"

The color was returning back to her cheeks, he noticed. Ever since he'd receive his orders from Sidious he had avoided seeing her. It caused him to much pain. Fact of the matter was that he would not be able to kill her. He could not. He loved her and she loved him. Well, not exactly, she loved Anakin, but him and Anakin were one and the same, right?

Her eyes fluttered and a small smile adorned her face when she saw him.

"Ani….you-you…"

His hands held hers.

"K-k-kiss m-m-me."

She had never given such a request. He had wanted to do it before badly but he feared it would only ruin what they already had. How could he deny his angel?

Their lips brushed first softly and in that very moment Vader saw what she saw. Them in a meadow, falling into each others arms. Them in a lake house (He'd burn that lake house just awhile back when it slipped out of her mind during interrogation.) caressing each other. Her and him tangled in sheets, smiling. Her pregnant with their children.

And then the kiss was done, she had let go. She wore a content, yet sickly smile and closed her eyes.

"Lord Vader! Oh my, I have been looking for you everywhere. It seems you have an urgent message from the Emperor," C-3PO had barged in.

Vader had signaled him to be quiet but he was a droid. This particular droid had his mind wiped from everything that was Anakin Skywalker and had no sense of discretion.

Besides him, she whispered, "Vader?" Her eyebrows scrunched and she turned to him. "Vader?"

He got up to make his exit, the sedative would do its work.

Vader turned around one last time before he left and to his horror he found his life falling apart in her eyes. Gone were her gentle eyes of love but rather replaced with stark realization and then with an utter disdain.

"No," she whispered. He left the room.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! I HATE YOU! NO!" and then a heavy weeping he heard from behind the door. His heart broke into a million pieces. It was silly for him to have played in such fantasies when reality always came back nipping.

"I HATE YOU!" Of course she did. Who could ever love a monster?

_Love ain't safe_  
_You won't get hurt if you stay chaste_  
_So you can wait_  
_But I don't wanna waste my love_

_FIN_

_(but if you really are brave hearted, read on for an alternate ending)_

* * *

He had put her back in her cell. He had not gone to visit her for the past two weeks and in that time he had forgotten all about love. In the suit now lied Vader, the Sith Lord who sought revenge against the woman who had toyed with him long enough.

On the day of her execution, Vader strode to her cell and found that she had robbed him of that pleasure too. She sat and her neck revealed her weapon of choice, the tube from which the sedative was injected into her body. Who could blame her? After all it must have been horrifying to discover that her true love was and always would be her greatest enemy. Anakin wept and pleaded to be killed as well but Vader was too much of a coward to come face to face with his true love.

* * *

_FIN. for real.  
_

_Ok so now that I've finished this I realize there was much unanswered and that it was choppy. The character transitions especially. Sooooo like i said at the beginning, take it for what it is. ALSO i kind of want to explain that Padme has this sixth sense thing going on. Since the illness and medication has diminished all her five senses, her sixth sense (force ability) has strengthened slightly, hence all the weirdness. And that's all I will add for commentary._

_Read, Like, and Review. LATEZ_


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